Mere moments before release, Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2 has been delayed by the occult implosion of developers The Chinese Room, seemingly triggered by a last-ditch request from Paradox Interactive to add a microtransaction system and start charging for every bitten neck.
There is nothing left of The Chinese Room now. Nothing but a huge bubble of Cromwell invocations and bisexual lighting, right in the middle of Portsmouth. Occasionally, a level designer erupts from the congealing iridescent surface, begging to be allowed to make Dear Esther 2 instead, only to be dragged back into the orb by a thousand, vermillion-painted fingers.
Prior to becoming a gore singularity, Bloodlines 2’s developers had been poised to celebrate the fateful release of a game synonymous with development hell. Bloodlines 2 was announced in 2019. Back then, it was in development at Hardsuit Labs, with original Bloodlines creator Brian Mitsoda as narrative lead and former RPS columnist Cara Ellison as senior writer. It all seemed rather brilliant. It even earned itself the coveted double Caldbell Thumbs-Up from Alice Bee and Brendy (RPS in peace).
Much ink was spilled. Some videos were made. But then everything went sideways. In August 2020, Paradox announced a delay. Then, they suddenly got rid of Mitsoda. Then, they tore the project from the hands of Hardsuit Labs, who subsequently laid off staff. All this in the name of “doing the game justice”. Mitsoda had a different take, as you’d expect. “I was not part of the conversations that led to the decision to delay production, and to my knowledge, there were no delays caused by the Bloodlines 2 narrative development,” he wrote at the time of his departure from the project. “I am confident and proud of the work that I and my team put forward.”
Paradox apparently considered cancelling the game, but eventually handed it over to a secret third party later revealed to be The Chinese Room. Then came preorder refunds, more delays, an interview with us in which Paradox suggested that Bloodlines 2 isn’t really a Bloodlines game at all, a wholly unforced bit of rake-stepping in which Paradox decided and then undecided to paywall two vampire factions, some promising Dishonored comparisons, and finally, our Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2 review, in which Dominic Tarason deemed the game “an entertaining but flawed vampire brawler wrapped in a compelling mystery story”. Whatever you may think of Paradox’s treatment of Hardsuit, The Chinese Room appear to have fashioned a decent action bonanza from what they were given, despite being mostly known for games about walking and talking.
I was intrigued to play it, but alas, no more. Every server harbouring a copy of Bloodlines 2 has exploded into bony dust. Every screen carrying its image has peeled away from the monitor, folded itself into a pair of batwings and flown out the nearest window. In vain do I direct you towards Steam, the Epic Games Store and GOG – clicking those store links will simply cause the earth to open and swallow you up. Bloodlines 2 was clearly a project too strange and beautiful for this world.
