Bet you thought some topics would have been spared by the wave of dad jokes you can stumble upon during your daily scrolling through the web. But no, this is exactly what it looks like: a collection of the best Minecraft jokes.
If, for some reason, you’ve been living under a rock for the past decade and don’t know what Minecraft is, let us explain. It’s a sandbox video game about building stuff in a blocky 3D world. You can build whatever you want, from houses to castles and even entire planets, with the resources available in the game. Talented Minecrafters all over the world have built futuristic cities, medieval kingdoms, and even perfect replicas of settings from The Hunger Games and Gotham City! Minecraft is one of the most popular video games in history, with a massive following and sales to match. Becoming a total gaming phenomenon, it’s no wonder it’s also the best-selling video game of all time.
It seems like the only thing that can match how fun the game is, is a good joke about the game itself. We’re not even sure how to describe the kind of person who would be into it, but you know what? Don’t worry about it. Just know that if you ever feel like Minecraft puns and jokes are your thing, we won’t judge you. Enjoy!
Minecraft is 10 years old. Older than half the people that play the game.
What do you call a 25-year-old male who plays Minecraft?
Single.
I identify as a creeper from Minecraft. Because I become unstable when people get too close to me.
I’m a huge fan of the outdoors. Just today I spent all day on my farm in Minecraft!
I just love the new Minecraft update. It’s groundbreaking.
I made fun of the official Minecraft Twitter account. So they blocked me.
Me and my wife got married. I proposed via Minecraft. We tied a square knot.
Why was Minecraft the movie canceled?
Because all of the actors wore blockface.
How do Minecraft players avoid getting a sunburn?
They use Sunblock!
Why are there no cars in Minecraft?
Because the streets are always blocked off!
What kind of music do Minecraft players listen to?
Bed-rock and roll!
A Creeper walks into a bar… everyone dies.
I got Minecraft for my girlfriend. Best trade I’ve ever made.
Everyone’s excited about the new Minecraft movie. It’s sure to be a real blockbuster.
Why do kids love Minecraft?
Because they are minors.
What country plays Minecraft the most?
The Netherlands.
What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game, if he created Minecraft?
Data. So he can mine it.
Who has mind stone?
Minecraft Steve, because he has mined stone.
Today I met a child playing Minecraft, with all the sound effects being a single note from a keyboard. A minor mining in A minor.
Been playing Minecraft with my niece. There’s a creature called a Mooshroom. It’s a cow with a fungal infection. Just like my sister.
I named my wood chest “Morning” in Minecraft. So whenever I need some wood I can say I need some “Morning Wood”.
(This is an actual thing I have done, it’s not just a cheesy joke)
What did they call the Minecraft player who built a clock in-game to chime at 4:20?
A Redstoner.
Some guy on a Minecraft server thought that I was a Hermit. How dare he make such baseless accusations.
I know how to code in Java.
*Plays Minecraft
Did you hear about that non-cringy Minecraft lets play?
Me neither.
My son wanted an intense, hardcore game, where you have to build awesome bases, fight monsters, and online play. So I got him Minecraft.
What do you call it when you build a second portal on Minecraft?
Anether Nether.
Minecraft is not a video game. Real video games have curves.
In what layers can you find Kevin Spacey in Minecraft?
16 and below.
What is a Minecraft stalker’s biggest fear?
Getting blocked.
What do you call Minecraft in Germany?
NEIN-CRAFT!
What do you call a Minecraft boy band?
New Kids on the Block!
How do Minecraft players celebrate?
They throw block parties!
What did Steve say to Alex?
“I dig you!”
Why doesn’t Steve work in an office?
He isn’t very good at thinking outside the box.
How does Steve manage to chop trees down with his bare fists?
Well, how wood I know?
Last night I went to a Creeper party, it was weird, obviously.
Wanna Cornered Beef?
You’ll get it from Minecraft cows.
Why is Minecraft so popular with kids?
Because they love to hang out on corners.
Why don’t some people ever tell Minecraft jokes?
Because people might think they’re square.
I won a Minecraft game without cheating. I did it fair and cube.
I hurt my finger playing Minecraft. It’s okay. Just a minor injury.
What is the only Caribbean country to exist in Minecraft?
Cuba.
What do you call Minecraft on mute?
Mimecraft.
What do priests and people who date on Minecraft have in common?
They’re both really into miners.
I’m writing a book about Minecraft. It’s not finished yet, but it has some terrific plot development.
What do you call a bunch of redneck Canadians playing Minecraft?
Blocky Hicks with Hockey Sticks.
In Minecraft, there are the Overworld Lands, the End Lands, and the Nether Lands. Now I know why I can’t play Minecraft in my Dutch class.
What would happen if Minecraft went communist?
It would be Ourcraft.
What is Minecraft called in North Korea?
Ourcraft.
What happens to Minecraft characters when they turn 16?
They grow cubic hair!
I’m trying to make a meme on breaking bedrock in Minecraft. But it’s way too hard.
I’m glad the Minecraft good Fortnite bad trend is over, there’s a difference between memes and just telling facts.
Most blocks in Minecraft are one square meter. Where in Minecraft can you find a block that has only two square feet?
Whichever one the player’s standing on.
If someone made a sculpture in Minecraft of J-Lo.
Would you name it Jenny from the Block?
What Do You Call A 7-Second Minecraft Video?
Vinecraft.
Notch/Notchless – the whole phone debate thing confuses me. Who cares how much screen space you have if your phone can create Minecraft?
You can start a new business in Minecraft. You just have to mine your own business!
How much better is Minecraft than many other games?
About one notch!
Every iPhone X should have Minecraft installed. Since they all have a notch on them.
How does Steve measure his shoe size?
In square feet!
Why can’t you score against a basketball player who plays Minecraft?
Because they are always blocking!
Steve walks into a bar. The bartender says: “Sorry, we don’t serve miners!”
Why did Steve need mouthwash after destroying the mobs?
Because he had bat breath!
Did you hear about the Creeper party?
It was a blast!
My ocelot was having trouble watching YouTube.
It turns out, the video was just on paws!
Where do miners sleep?
On their bed-rocks!
What did the Enderman say to Steve?
Leave me alone, end-er-mite not kill you!
Why didn’t the Enderman cross the road?
Because he teleported instead!
What is a Creeper’s favorite subject at school?
HisssSSSSStory!
Why did the Creeper cross the road?
To get to the other ssssside!
What time is it when ten ocelots chase a Creeper?
Ten after one.
What did Steve say to the skeleton?
“I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”
Villagers stay fit because they jog around the block.
Where does Steve rent movies?
Blockbuster.
Don’t try to eat the chickens in Minecraft. They’re too gamey.
What do you call the Rocky Mountains in Minecraft?
The Blocky Mountains.
Did you hear about Microsoft buying Minecraft for several million dollars?
If only they realised that Minecraft cost 30$.
What is Minecraft?
It’s Hitler’s lesser-known second book about his love of knitting. Officially the title is Mein Kraft but, the kids like this spelling more.
The water problem in Africa is like someone put a sponge block from Minecraft in the stream.
I tried and failed to make an underwater breathing machine in Minecraft. I just conduit.
What’s the difference between Minecraft and Lovecraft?
Apparently not much based on Notch’s twitter.
Two scientists are playing Minecraft. One is new to the game and doesn’t know much about it. At some point, he crafts a pickaxe but doesn’t know what to do with it, so he asks the more experienced scientist.
Scientist 1: Bro, what should I do with this pickaxe that I crafted?
Scientist 2: Bromine.
What’s the square root of Minecraft?
There are three, actually. The potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots.
Why do so many Trumpies end up playing Minecraft?
They were looking for Mein Kampf and got misdirected.
What’s a flat eartherns favorite game?
Minecraft.
What do you get when you cross Kerbal Space Program with Eve Online?
No Man’s Minecraft.
What’s Steve’s favourite sport?
Boxing!
How does Steve keep fit?
He runs around the block.
What do Minecraft players do at the weekend?
They go to square dances!
What did the zombie say to the villager?
Nice to eat you!
Ocelots are like crisps. You can never just have one.
What is a Creeper’s favorite food?
Sssssalad.
Why can’t the Ender Dragon read a book?
Because he always starts at the end.
Why was there iron and hold in the sailor’s boat?
Because the sailor needed oars.
“Knock Knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Ocelot”
“Ocelot who?”
“Ocelot of questions you do!”
How did Steve make the skeleton laugh?
He tickled its funny bone!
Stampy has a fence around his love garden, and I’m dying to get in!
What did one element say to the other while they were playing Minecraft?
Bromine.
